The Fear Within Us (A Helsa Fic)
by tinkfan14
Summary: Hans faces the reality that he loves Elsa, and not Anna. He resolves to make Elsa realize that he is the one that understands her. But she doesn't see that they both have fear-fear of the past and their future. Fear of hurting people. When the chandelier comes crashing down, a shard of ice gets lodged in Hans. Ice that causes anger in people who let their fears control them...
1. Real Love

For the first time in forever, I'm actually on this site...Hey guys, I haven't been on fanfiction in like...a year... but I decided tos tart of fresh with this new Helsa fanfiction. Last year I was busy with school and three days a week of dance, so you can probably see whhy I haven't been on. My mobile doesn't work all the time with fanfiction and I don't get as much time of regular computers either, so during the school year I'm not on very often. Buuuuut... its the summer now! IN SUUUUUUMMMMMMEEEERRR. Okay Olaf, that's enough. Any how I hope you all like this story. This chapter is mostly Hans's thoughts about Elsa and reminiscing the past. Takes place during the search for Anna and henceforth.

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Hours had passed since Hans and his men had left the village. Arendelle lay far, far below them, the snow piling higher on the rooftops of the village and the castle. The wind howled through the evergreens of the forest, and blew harder as the men trudged on. The temperature was plummeting quickly, just as the Duke of Weselton had feared. They had to find Anna-and fast.

_She could be anywhere_, Hans thought, _We could be walking right by her. She could be buried in this blizzard._

The horses plodded along, and every man on foot breathed heavily as they heaved on.

_But why do I care? I don't even love Anna. Of course I want her to be safe from harm, but I just don't love her. Then I was thinking only of myself, of power, when in reality all I wanted was...Elsa._

A horse whinnied as they crossed the frozen river.

_I was never even here for her in the first place. I am here for the queen...for Elsa._

Hans was lost in his thoughts as they crossed the crystal forest. All he could think of was the queen. Of course, he wanted Anna to be safe, but the queen was who mattered to him the most. She was the one he connected with.

Elsa was the one who was truly in danger. All the men with him right now wanted her to be dead. He knew it. He could see it in their eyes. The weapons they brought were not for defense only; he knew they brought the guns and arch bows to end "the monster's" life. And he didn't blame them. They thought Elsa was out to kill them all.

But Hans knew she was not a monster, but rather a person just like him. She was just misunderstood.

Years ago, when he began searching for a kingdom of his own, he had stumbled upon the mysterious kingdom of Arendelle. Ever since he laid eyes on her queen, he knew that that was it. That was his destined kingdom. He connected with her queen...with Elsa. She was fine and beautiful, but her face conveyed it all. It had the same expression as his, one which had the sense of a secret being hidden. A secret that caused grief. He saw sorrow hidden there, and from the moment he met her, he knew something was wrong. But she always shut him out. She shut everyone out, to only catch of glimpse of her at times. Hans wanted to help her, but she wouldn't let him or anyone.

No one was getting anywhere with her. Even Anna had enough sense to know that. "Thank goodness it was just me. If it had been my sister...yeesh."

During his visit that time, he found her in the study, whispering something to herself. "Conceal it. Don't feel it. Don't let it show." But when she saw him in the doorway, she fled from the room and locked herself in her room once more. He always wondered what was wrong, what was causing the fear she had.

That fear in her eyes worried him; however, the time eventually came that he was asked to return to the Southern Isles-just like every prince before him. He was left to wonder what was wrong. That's why he took the opportunity to come to Arendelle again for her coronation.

But it didn't do much good. She was still shutting herself out, and she didn't remember who he was. He was just another prince, another suitor whom she had sent away from her presence. That's why he used Anna to get closer to her again. Yet he wondered why she refused their marriage. Did she have letting go issues? Did she not want her sister to get hurt? That was understandable. Or was she jealous? Jealous that a guy she could have had was now her sister's? What was the answer to this mysterious queen's motives?

However, his impatience for power took over, and now he was in the ruts of hurting Anna's feelings or being forever alone and at the bottom of the power chain. He wanted his own power, but now that was what mattered least. Elsa mattered now. He would worry about Anna later. She was feisty and strong. She could take care of herself.

He thought back to last night. The pressure and fear Elsa had consumed and locked within her had built up over the last decade. Her coronation and the events that followed had aggravated her too much. That was the last straw for her. She released it all, and her only thought was to run.

Now he knew.

Now he knew why she wore the gloves, why she didn't want to marry him or anyone. She was afraid she would hurt someone.

He knew she never meant to hurt anyone, and never will mean to. But everyone else doesn't think that.

But why did Anna never know, and her parents _did_ seem to know? If everyone just knew she had those powers, and never meant to use them for harm, would they be less afraid? So many questions that were yet to have answers...

_When I find you Elsa, I hope you realize I understand you. I understand your misery. You can talk to me, let it all out so we can understand. You're just misunderstood. They don't get your troubles like I do. I was 13__th__ in line to the throne, with brothers who shut me out. _

_ I was alone... just like you._

_But will she ever realize that? That I am the one who can help her?_

_ I have a fear too. A fear that I will never measure up. That I can never be a true leader. _

He pulled back his glove and looked at his scar. _The _scar.

Suddenly everything became still.

They had reached the North Mountain, and what stood before them was magnificent.

"Wow..." Hans breathed.

A castle, crafted completely from ice, shimmered under the aurora in the sky. A delicate staircase lead to its foreboding doors._ Closed_ doors.

_This is the work of Elsa for certain_, Hans thought, _doors closed to the world._

Hans jumped off of his horse and issued orders to his army.

"We are here to find Princess Anna," he commanded. _ But I am here for my Elsa_. "No harm is to come to the queen." _Just let her be. She means no harm._

As he walked towards the staircase, he heard a low rumble, and then a loud roar as a huge creature made of snow and ice lurched forward.

Weselton's men fired shots at the creature's arms and back, but their actions only aggravated it more.

_This, men, is your monster. A true monster._

Hans saw a quick movement at the palace doors through the creature's legs. He knew it was Elsa. He connected with her eyes for a split second, and in them he saw fear.

And it was growing stronger.

But he also saw something else-something that said-

"_I don't want to do this"_

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Well I hope y'all like it! This is just the beginning. More chapters to come Wednesday. In the meantime, review! :) I give out virtual cupcakes to those who do!


	2. Battle of Fear

Thank you so much for the lovely review! WOW, I just got the most story views and visits I have EVER gotten! On this story! You guys are amazing!

This chapter is in Elsa's pov. So in the last chapter, Hans realizes he doesn't truly love Anna and probably never will. He thought he would never have Elsa, and just wanted a way to power, a way to move on. But he might be wrong...

The heels of Elsa's shoes clicked against the icy floor as she walked about in circles. She clutched her hands to her chest as her mind raced with everything that had just happened.

_All those years, shutting myself away, just to protect you Anna. To protect you from me! All gone to waste! _Elsa's mind swarmed with thoughts, as she continued to recover from her shock.

_But it was her fault! She shouldn't have come after me. I am a danger to her! Didn't she see that at the party?_

A crackling sound wafted up the beams of the castle.

_Feisty Anna! Oh, if only I had been able to figure out how to control my powers!_

_ But they kept getting stronger, and I became more and more afraid._

Fear. So much fear.

Cracks sounded all throughout the castle and the four corners of the castle began to glow red.

_Oh, Anna, please be okay. Let the trolls help you!_

Elsa felt a sinking feeling in her stomach as she thought of long ago. Way back when the castle had been closed, the night she hurt Anna with her powers.

"_Thank goodness it wasn't her heart. The head can be persuaded, but the heart is much trickier."_

What did the troll mean? _What will happen to Anna?_

Anna had to be in danger.

The walls turned even darker red as anger boiled up within her.

_Who was that man? Was he there to help her or hurt her? That girl needs to stick to just one man!_

Spikes starting forming along the walls, all pointing towards the queen.

_I bet she is going to marry that mountain man instead and dump the other one!_

Elsa continued walking as she was thinking.

_Without me, she is free. Free to open up the gates and marry whom she chooses. I am not free._

That's when she realized something.

"_Arrendelle's in deep, deep, deep, deep...snow."_

No one was free...because of her.

Because of her, Arrendelle was frozen in an eternal winter.

Elsa was on the brink of tears. She wanted to end it all, to end the fear and the worry. But she just...couldn't. She didn't know how.

"Control it. Get it together Elsa, you can do this. Conceal don't feel. Don't feel. Don't feel. Don't FEEL," she whispered to herself.

_Oh, Olaf. Please be there with Anna. Please keep her company._

At least one good thing had come from her powers.

Elsa collapsed on the floor, breathing heavily. _Think of something else. Think of something else._

Flashbacks hit her conscience. She saw the accident. She saw her room filled with ice. She saw the picture of her parents, draped with the shear black curtain. She saw her coronation as the frost traveled up the heirlooms. She saw the disaster that was last night. She saw the man...the prince.

When he and Anna had approached her at the party, she had seen something strkingly...familiar about him.

_But where have I seen him?_

She had felt somewhat awkward when he gazed at her at quick intervals throughout the party; a pang in her chest. She had felt in long ago, but couldn't put on finger on it as to why.

Why did she feel this way?

_But most of all, if I think he looked familiar, did he recognize me too? He seemed to._

All of her angst, guilt, and fear had become a storm raging inside. She wished to just flee the North Mountain and find Anna. She wanted to scoop her up and tell her it's okay and she never meant to harm her. But she couldn't, because she was a danger...to everyone.

Her mind wanted her to run down the icy slopes and ask Anna who the mountain man was. But she couldn't.

She wanted to bring back Olaf to keep her company. But she couldn't. She was destined to be alone...forever.

But most of all, she wanted to find out where had met the prince, and why she remembered him. She couldn't even remember his name, she was so focused on keeping her powers under tow in the ballroom.

Elsa was so depressed she wanted to fall asleep. However, she was so tired and weak that she could not even muster enough power to create a pillow for herself. She was growing weak and her fears were growig stronger. No longer was she causing her powers, her fear was.

That's when she remembered the troll's warning:

"Elsa, your power will only grow stronger. You must learn to control it. There is beauty in it, but also great danger. Fear will be your enemy."

Fear will be her enemy.

AS the walls burned with the fire of her emotions, the spikes grew longer, and the castle continued to crack, she realized that if she did not end the fear soon, it would kill her...

_And my precious sister._

Suddenly, she heard a roar from outside, and remembered the snow monster she had created in her haste to get Anna away from her. In reality, whenever she tried to help someone, she only made matters worse.

Heaving herself off the floor, she picked up her train and fled to the doors to investigate.

She opened one slightly, and before her she saw the guards, Weselton's men, and the Southern Isle's men all fighting against the monster. She noticed one man in a blue cloak roll over on the snow covered ground, sword in hand. When looked up, he looked straight into her eyes.

"The queen!" someone shouted.

She abruptly closed the door. "The prince," she whispered. _I'm sorry. Please don't be hurt._

Frantically she looked about her. _What if they have come to kill me? I have to escape! He's probably mad that I've hurt his Anna, if she's even still his. He must be after me!_

Elsa vaguely saw two figures running up the staircase outside the doors. She took her opportunity and ran.

She flew up the stairs as the double doors swung open. She glanced behind her to see Weselton's men armed with arch bows.

_This is it. This is the end._

"Up there!" one of them shouted.

They were gaining on her fast. As soon as she reached the third level, she froze. There was no exit. She looked up at the chandelier, then the balcony, and then turned around. The bearded man had his arrow pointed straight at her.

"We got her!"

"No, please! Stop!"

In defense, she held up her hands in front of her face as she heard the whiz of the arrow. As she opened her eyes, she found the arrow had been frozen in a block of ice.

_But I didn't do that._

She glanced above her and watched as the fiery glow creeped towards the top of the castle. He fear was gaining control of her.

"Stay away!"

She hastily shot an icy blast at the men. She pinned one against the wall and used he hand to create a deadly icicle to kill him with.

She used her other hand to block the other man's escape. With a whip of her hand she formed an ice block and began sliding it towards the guard. He had no escape.

At that moment, Elsa heard a dozen footsteps behind her and a deep voice shouted,

"Queen Elsa! Don't be the monster they fear you are!"

Elsa turned her head and saw the prince standing in the doorway. Her icy powers ceased as she looked into his eyes. She felt that distinguished pang in her chest again.

She remembered now.

"Hans," she whispered.

Cliffhanger... no not really if you've watched Frozen before. Let's hope you have if you're reading this story, cause otherwise... MAJOR spoiler alert in the next chapters! Please review if you have time, or give it a favorite or a follow! Remember, reviews that are rude or hurtful towards other fanfiction members or have foul language will be flagged and removed. Thanks! :)


	3. The Grasp of Fear

**Hey guys! It's another chapter! Luckily I survived a weekend full of fireworks and we didn't get injured. Lol. Has anyone ever heard of fireworks interfering with wifi? My internet was totally down ALL day yesterday and I couldn't get the story posted until now. :/ Well anyway, this story is coming along quite nicely. I already have chapter four mostly written. The hard part was coming up with Hans's backstory for the flashback scene you'll get in chapter four. I think I finally have it figured out, but don't worry if the next chapter is delayed a bit, cause I've been using my thinking cap until steam starting coming out. O.M.G. I came up with the BEST PLOT TWIST EVAAAAA. MUWHAHAHAHA... okaaaaay yeah sorry that won't come till like chapter 12 or something so keep reading to find out what I concocted. (please ignore my terrible spelling of that word. I just _know _its spelled wrong.) But don't worry my plot twist is not awful, and does not totally involve Hans. Anyway on to the story!**

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"Queen Elsa! Don't be the monster they fear you are!"

Elsa turned her head and saw the prince standing in the doorway. Her icy powers ceased as she locked into his eyes. She felt the pang again.

She remembered now.

"Hans," she whispered.

As Hans locked into Elsa's fearful eyes, he didn't realize that the guard pinned against the wall still had his weapon.

At the last moment, Hans say a movement out of the corner of his eye. The man struggled to lift the arch bow and pointed it at the queen. Hans quickly grabbed the man's arm and jerked it towards the ceiling just as he let go of the arrow.

There was a snap and the tinkling of ice as the arrow shot the chandelier.

Elsa looked up and gasped. She grabbed her skirts and ran, but the chandelier crashed on the floor onto her train. She screamed and fell, skidding across the ice.

The last thing she remembered was Hans crawling towards her.

Then everything went black.

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The chandelier was glowing red as the sky outside grew dark, the aurora slowly fading away. Shattered ice, like glass, lay strew about the castle floor. Blood was trickling from the queen's ankle onto her icy dress. Cuts and bruises were spotted across the prince's neck and chest, and there was a small laceration above his eyebrow.

Time slowly ticked by until Hans stirred slightly and regained consciousness. His eyes flickered open and he struggled to get up.

_Where am I? _Hans thought. He scanned his surroundings, and his eyes landed on the thousands of broken pieces of ice from the chandelier.

_Elsa!_

He frantically looked around him for the queen and saw her lying on the floor a few feet in front of him. Pushing himself off the floor, he felt a stabbing pain in his chest and his eyes stung terribly. He brought his hand to his face and rubbed his eyes. His glove was dirtied with blood when he looked at it, and he noticed his white shirt was stained with blood as well.

_What happened?_

Suddenly he felt the stabbing pain in his chest again, and his eyes felt like they were on fire. He fell to the ground, grabbing his chest in pain.

He was in so much pain, he didn't notice the fiery red glow in his eyes and his heart.

Then it was gone, and the pain subsided.

Standing up again, Hans waited for the blur in his eyes to focus. He felt his chest, but there were no injures, only dried blood.

_Must have come from my neck, _he thought, _but my chest was in pain..._

He rushed to Elsa's side, and picked her up in his arms. Her eyes were shut tight and her face was frozen with the look of fear. And at that moment, Hans felt afraid too.

"Oh, Elsa. Please be okay. I don't want you to be hurt. I don't want to fail you. I already failed once." Hans whispered to the sleeping queen.

He felt her breath against his gloved hand, and he knew she was still alive. Her face was as cold as ice, but even colder than he remembered.

He heard the two men behind him waking up.

"Guards, prepare Sitron for travel. The queen is in danger and we must bring her back to Arrendelle quickly," he commanded.

"The queen in danger? What about us? What about the people? _We _are in danger! _Not _ us!" the bearded man shouted.

"She almost killed us!" the other man replied.

"She didn't mean to. She didn't mean any of it. She was scared, and was only trying to protect herself!" Hans yelled.

"She deserves to die!"

"My orders were that no harm was to come to the queen, and you deliberately disobeyed me! I should have you thrown in prison for this!"

"And what power do you have to do just that? The duke would never let you!" the first guard argued.

"Anna put me in charge. With the queen in this state, and her missing, I have all rights to do so!" Hans's face was red with anger.

As if to answer his feelings, the castle began to quake and violent cracks shot up the walls. Panicking, Hans watched the boiling red light reach the ceiling. A blast of light exploded and bits and pieces of ice began t fall around them.

"We have to go now! The castle is falling apart!" Hans shouted.

The two men ran out the door and cascaded down the stairs, Hans following closely behind. He held Elsa tightly to his chest as he dodged the falling debris.

Suddenly he heard a loud snap and glanced behind him to see the staircase break away from the third floor. He jumped onto the second flight of stairs just as the one behind him crashed on the bottom floor.

He saw the guards breaking open the entrance doors, and that's when he remembered the stair well trick Anna had taught him in the castle halls. Holding on to Elsa, he hopped onto teh railing and slid the remainder of the way down. He flew out the castle doors just as the fountain came tumbling down.

The rest of his army was scrambling off the snow, jumping onto their horses and grabbing their weapons. Hans did the same, and they took off. Just as they rounded the corner, he heard the low rumble of an avalanche.

Snow began dropping from the cliffs, and Hans could feel the wind of the impeding snow at his back. He and all his men veered onto another path just as the wall of snow and ice thundered past. They barely escaped their deaths.

Now Hans's only hope was that the queen's precious sister wasn't buried beneath it all.

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"Open up the gates!" Hans commanded.

The doors slowly creaked open, and the duke of Arrendelle peaked around the corner. When he saw Hans he flung them open, but hid behind the doors once more when he spotted the queen in the prince's arms.

"You're back! We were so worried for you and your men!" the duke said, "But why did you bring her back? Is she dead?"

"No, the queen is alive, but very weak and feeble. She needs immediate assistance, and so do all my men." Hans explained, "Prepare warm soup and new clothing for the men, and ready the queen's room."

"Hans, you wouldn't think to put such a monster as her in the castle and endanger everyone would you?" the duke responded.

"She's not a monster, she's only afraid. And besides, she locked herself in her room for how many years without hurting anyone, sire?"

"Please, call me Kai. Fourteen I believe, your highness, if I'm not mistaken," he answered, "And I agree, she would recover quickly in her own room, but we just can't risk that."

Hans hoisted himself and Elsa off Sitron, "And why not?" he asked.

"I know you are in charge, and have all rights to do as you please. But you must think wisely, your highness. _You_ may care for the queen's well being, but it doesn't meant eh people do. Remember what the King of the Southern Isles, your father, once said? 'You are for the people, not yourself. You are here to protect them over your own well-being.' And right now, keeping Elsa's dangerous powers away from everyone is in your best interest."

Hans looked down at the sleeping queen. _ Your right Kai. I was here for myself. I've always done everything for myself. But Elsa changed everything. She changed me. She gave me a reason to care for something other than myself. I can't just let her suffer._

The duke of Weselton walked up to the two men.

"Is she alive, your highness? Or is she dead?" he asked.

"She is alive..."

"...but not for long," the duke of Weselton finished. "She must be hanged for treason!"

"Enough!" Hans yelled, "As a compromise, I will put the queen in prison. We will decide her fate in the morning."

"But we will all freeze to death by then! We must do something now! Where's the princess? Let _her _make the decision!"

"Anna would never issue orders to kill her own sister. And Anna was not found on our mission. We will have to go out again later, or wait for her return. In her absence, my words are orders!" Hans shouted.

Hans looked at Elsa's face, and he felt his chest tighten with fear. _How will I protect you, with the odds all against me? I know you are not evil, but they won't believe me. I'm scared, Elsa! What if I can't control the people, and they end up controlling me? I don't want to be selfish anymore, but I don't know what decision is right..._

"As a compromise, I will send her to prison. When she calms down and wakes up, I will ask her to unfreeze everything. She's person just like us, with feelings and emotions, and would not want anyone to suffer."Hans finally said.

"Then why did she abandon everyone?" the duke inquired.

"She was afraid okay? Do not ask me anything again! You are both dismissed." Hans said, barely able to control his anger.

The two dukes finally left Hans in peace with Elsa. Slowly he walked inside the castle and took off his cloak at the door. He set Elsa in a chair as he hung it up in the foyer, then picked her up agian as eh wandered through the dark, bricked hallways. He lit a torch when he reached the stairway leading to the dungeon.

_It's going to work out, Hans. She'll just wake up and unfreeze everything. She'll just explain, and everything will be fine._

Everything would be fine...except for one thing.

_Will Elsa open up to me? Or is my love all in vain? _

_ Oh Elsa, I know what it must feel like to be in constant fear of everything. I know what it feels like to fail._

_ I failed to find Anna, your dear sister._

_ I faked love for your sister, just to have a place in power. That was wrong of me. That was my old self._

_ I saved your life, only to find that you are in danger of losing it again._

_ I stopped thinking of only myself, but because of everyone else we're both in danger._

_ Why did I ever what to be in power? I wanted the honor, but I can't take the responsibility. I can't be a leader._

_ My brothers were right. I can't do this._

Hans reached the end of the stairs. With a heavy heart, he opened the cell and gently laid Elsa on the bed inside. He locked the queen's hands in the cases, and placed one of Weselton's blankets over her cold body.

He knelt down beside her and kissed her forehead.

"I'm so sorry Elsa." His eyes stung with tears. "I love you. I'm so sorry...for everything."

He pulled off his glove, and looked at the scar running down it.

He hated it, but without it...

"...I wouldn't have come here Elsa. I would have never met you."

And he sat there beside her and cried for hours.

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**Phew! That was a heck of a long chapter to type.*pops all fingers and back* I hope you all enjoyed and come back to read more as things get reeeaaaallllyyy interesting. Oh and ADVERTISEMENT: go type in Hans and Elsa on Pinterest and you'll pull up some awesome photos. I totally repinned the one of Hans carrying Elsa out of the ice palace and onto Sitron, because heck it matched my story! Byee until the next chapter. (yes I ate four donuts today... Can you tell?)**


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